A change in direction

Well after the past couple of weeks I have decided on a change in direction at least for the time being.

I value the Mkmma and everything up until the end of week 4 in that I see what the potential is for me and how it can change my life! But I had to evaluate my personal situation and my direct needs as a person in my life, my current financial state, and my business ventures! I have decided I would be better to focus more on the skills to be the best at what I do first! Get my business rolling this year and next year focus more on the MKMMA so that everything explodes outwards and upwards!

I have started the Go90Grow program which I believe will do 2 things give me the skills and confidence to build my business with earnest and enthusiasm and will also give me a good start for the MKMMA next year threw the Think and Grow rich component of the course but it will also allow me the lenience to develop both at my own pace!

I am excited to get everything rolling and the ability to bring two of my team mates on board the course with me is awesome! We are currently only a 3 person team in my area and we are all excited to start building an empire together!

Go 90 Grow is what I need at the moment and it has been exceptional so far!

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Master keys week 4

I am still here!!!

I love this course, this experience, this journey!!! “BUT”

The infamous “BUT” I hate that word it is never followed with anything good…….The good part is I am still here, I am still excited by this, I am still so looking forward to the end result to discover my golden self. The last two weeks have been so challenging to stay motivated to pick up the book, to read the DMP, to read my cards and PPNs. I feel ashamed by my lack of action on this and my ability to find excuses why I don’t have time or I can’t do it. I see the greatest salesman book on my bed side table and I feel ashamed but yet I still don’t pick it up and read it.

There is a definite emotional struggle going on daily with me and myself. The very same emotional struggle I have had my entire life. I am having a real difficulty putting my finger on the cause of why this is a recurring cycle of disaster. Maybe disaster is the wrong word but my life has always been myself being wishy-washy about what I want and always allowing myself be swayed more towards what others want. Everyone has been more important than me.

I have also come to the realization that my old neuro net and my cells need their “fix” of self loathing peptides to start the party. Also someone said during the master mind portion that when Subby is bombarded with change similar to trying to over come an addiction subby and all our cells want to go back to a place of comfort no matter how destructive the conscious mind believes it to be. I feel my conscious mind and what I perceive as a valuable opportunity are in conflict and it is difficult to comprehend to say the least. I have always succumbed to compromise for the greater good of everyone around me and I feel selfish by trying to focus on this. The same thing happened when I decided to start exercising and loosing weight. I was in excess of 425lbs and I was still fairly newly single, my Youngest son 14 was at home most of the time alone. i would leave for work before he got up and he would have to get himself up and off to school. i would typically work until about 6pm and when I decided to lose weight i was incredibly motivated. Over the course of a couple of months I lost about 80 lbs. I would go to the gym every day right after work and as a result would not get home until about 8pm. The guilt and inner turmoil about leaving him home alone so much was awful. Finally I decided to stop going to the gym and the excuse was that guilt and that I should be home for him and he needed me. Even though he never asked me to or never made me feel guilty I did it to myself. This feels like a very similar situation.

Even as I write this I am wracked with guilt. I received a message from a colleague about a presentation for the MLM company I am a part of and he was telling me that a member of my team had 3 guests there tonight. I know I should have been there but I instead opted to stay home and work on this course. I hadn’t watched the week 4 webinare up to this point and even though I wanted to Monday and Tuesday I found reasons why I could not. so I was determined to watch it today and I am very glad I did however I could not do both. I find myself with these things happening on a daily basis in my life and it is tiresome indeed.

It seems unreasonable to me to feel this way but I just can not help myself. I feel guilty for not doing what others want me to even if it means that I miss out on doing something that I really want to do, or maybe it is something I know I should not do. Making other people happy and sacrificing my own has been my life. I believe that action in itself is the most destructive thing I do to myself as well to others. I am in this to the end however!

Master Keys Week 3

Well it has been a week and a half since my last blog and well it has been pretty well insignificant to say the least!!! My week has been lacklustre to say the least!

My motivation has been taking a beating this week!! I am still very excited and enthusiastic towards the course, the content and the overall idea behind the master keys and the potential for change in my life!

I am not sure what it is that has seemingly flattened my tires on this journey but I hope that as long as I continue to move forward I will get my second wind and it will push me past this spot I am at!

On a positive note, I completed my 3rd revision of my DMP and that feels like a success for sure!! Celebrating those small successes and reviling in the feeling of overcoming that hurdle of completing those weekly tasks is liberating and motivating in itself! This blog post was my next major task to complete and well it’s almost done also!! I am not totally looking forward to the DMP trailer version but I accept that challenge also!!

Forgive me for a second while I run on the spot for a couple seconds then explode up yelling “I am Powerful!” ……………….

Ok thanks I’m done!! Phew that feels better!!

Ok back to the blog!

Am I the only one who finds that no matter how much enthusiasm I put into my readings that it still sounds boring in their ears!! Maybe I’m not doing it right! Tomorrow I might try reading in front of a mirror just so I can watch myself do it!! It probably won’t do anything good for Sunny but I am sure I will be totally entertained by myself!!! Lol

At any rate keep your eye on the end game of all this and remind yourself how important it was/is to you from the moment you first started!! Cheers everyone!!

Master Keys week 2

WOW…… just wow….. I am not sure what to say right at this moment.
I think I just now realised that I spend so much time in my life asking myself what everyone else wants that I have never truly ever considered what it is that I want.
It started as early as I can remember being more concerned with the needs of others then my own. I am at a point in my life where even going on a date I would rather ask  where she wants to go as opposed to just planning it with my own thoughts and desires and having the confidence to believe that it will be perfect…
I believe that is why my DMP is so wishy-washy! I wrote something down but in all honesty it still doesn’t feel or even sound right coming out of my mouth when I read it.
It would probably be so much easier to ask someone else what they want as opposed to asking myself what I want.
There is no conflict in that………………..
I think there is only really one thing that I ever wanted to do that I accomplished and that was to work on an oil and gas service rig. I wanted to do that the moment I heard about the Alberta oil fields.
Soo I joined the military… makes sense right!!
That was my comment to Mark j’s blog from Oct 6, 2016 “Control Freaks”

MY STORY

I grew up In Nova Scotia, My Dad had a stroke when I was 4 My mom Had a stroke…. Not as severe but a stroke none the less, about 6 months? Maybe a year later after my father’s stroke. My siblings and I were shuttled from house to house for places to stay and to be cared for during the frequent Hospital stays and many days away from home that my parents endured. I believe that was when I conditioned myself to believe that other people’s problems, wants, dreams and desires were more important than my own. From then on I internalized everything keeping my feelings to myself and avoiding conflict with others.

I really truly feel that I focused on everyone else and I justified it by saying, ‘It makes me happy to make other people happy” which is true to a certain degree but when is it my turn? OOPS avoid conflict!!!!

In middle school or early high school I remember hearing about Oil and Gas in Alberta and speaking to a few friends about it who had lived in Alberta it burned into my brain as something I wanted to do. It is hard to explain, but at that Age living in Nova Scotia I dismissed the thought because after all how was I even supposed to get there?

After High School a few friends were Joining the military and when it came time for me to decide my path it made sense to me. I couldn’t really afford to go to college but the Military offered a free education in a trade and Paid you on top of that… why not!

8 months later I am off! Basic Training was one of the highlights of my life! It gave me a huge sense of accomplishment and self worth. Unfortunately that didn’t last. My chosen trade was as a technician on The Jets, again not my cup of tea, but I passed my trades training and I was about to get Posted. Oh it is important to note that I was in the top 3 of my class and as a result I would get first choice as to where I wanted to be posted to start my career. I could have gone anywhere in Canada!!!! One of the guys on the course with me Finished 4th or 5th in the class. He approached me and asked me not to pick his top choice as he really wanted to go there. He knew if I picked it he would not get to go. The funny thing is it didn’t matter because my mind was already made up for me long before he ever came to ask me. I Think I always knew I would be going to Cold Lake,  Alberta !  I think Subby led me to this decision because 2 years later after arriving in Alberta for various reasons I was no longer a member of the Canadian Armed Forces.

I was on may way to work in the Alberta oil fields and I think I always Knew I would end up there and for 25 years that is where I have been.

I felt that was a very deep story about how my burning desire for something as simple as working in the oil and gas industry found a way to manifest itself into reality so many years later. Coincidance?

Since this Journey has started I am starting to question if all of those decisions led me to the reality that I so much wanted as a young Boy in Nova Scotia.

Moving along, I have come to the conclusion that all of my decisions however, have been based around the people I love and care about and what their needs, goals and desires are. I have spent my entire life putting my needs, goals and desires aside to do what I thought was right for  everyone else, sometimes to the detriment of myself! I need to change that self defeating way by deciding what I need, What I want, What is right for me and only me! If I can get that right then everything in my life will fall into place and then I can be a better, stronger, happier version of myself (The Golden Buddah) The Better version of my self will then in turn be better suited to help the rest of my loved ones succeed at their goals, dreams and needs.

A heart felt surprise!!

Good afternoon everyone! Today started out much the same as any other day waking up at 5am to my local radio station playing music which is so normal I can’t even recall what was playing!

At any rate I sat up read my morning readings and then reflected for a moment before jumping up to take a shower and get ready for work!! All pretty much non blog post worthy! It wasn’t until later this morning that things changed and I am totally floored!! I am not a person to do things for people and expect even a thank you! But what happened today was so much more than that!

Many years ago shortly after meeting my future wife we received a phone call from her father! He was very concerned about two of his grand children as they were living in a very small community in Northern Manitoba and their parents were not doing a very good job of caring for them! He received a call from a concerned family member or from social services at the time!! I am unsure of the details on that conversation, but the kids were going to be taken and put into foster care if someone wouldn’t step up to care for them!

Of course I immediately said well then let’s go! It was within the hour that my father in law Emile and I set out to go and get them! He was going to keep the children at his house when we returned! The rest of the trip we could not get there fast enough!

Upon our arrival Emile went to make the arrangements and a short while later he came out with my niece and nephew in tow!! I remember they looked like scared kittens but yet very happy to see us!! Their parents eventually got their act together and were reunited with their children but they never returned to that small community!!

I never thought much of my part in all of that until today when I received a message from my Nephew on Facebook messenger! We are not Facebook friends at this point in our lives so he had to search for me to send his message which makes it that much more meaningful! He was the eldest of the two at about 6-7 years old at the time! He is 30 years old now! This is what he wrote:

“Hey i just want to say thank you for coming to manitoba with moshum when i was a kid to come pick me and my siblings up…. That was one of the things i will always remember and be greatful of… Once again thank you

If it werent for you and moshum i would have been in the system and probably would have in and out jail…. Im a working man today and doing good

If you ever feel down you changed a brown kids life forever for the better

Thank you todd i cant stop saying it”

(Moshum is cree for grandfather)

Wow that’s all I can say about that!! Just when you think no one notices any of the good deeds you have done out of the blue something like that happens!!

My heart is now full!!

A lot to ponder

Well last day off before heading back to my oilfield job tomorrow morning! After a day spent working on my Definite Major Purpose, reading the master keys, and the blue print builder!! I can’t help but to reflect on my life and everything that has brought me to where I am today!

My 47th birthday is rapidly approaching and with it comes a new determination not to be sitting in the same place next year watching the time slip by waiting for my 48th birthday to arrive and realizing that nothing has changed and I am doing the same things I was before for the last 47 years!! I realize that what I have done in the past was to juggle all aspects of life! To be successful I had to let family life and other things take the back seat! If I focused on family my career would falter and begin to fail!! It seemed I could never find that balance to keep everything happy! The results!! Divorce, loss of career, bankruptcy, and in my mind failure!

That all gave me some insight into what the status quo is in the world that is programmed at a very young age! And that is you live a modest life and you work hard for a company for years without creating waves and causing commotion and you will have lived a good honest life until you die!!

Never mind dreams and goals and wanting to do something important everyone else’s dreams and goals are way more important than your own!

I feel like I am rambling now as my thoughts seem muddled!

But know this my 48th birthday will look drastically different than my 47th birthday!! I am determined to shed the cement and mud and bring out my Golden inside for the world to see!!

Masterkeys week 1

Well week one webcast is under the belt!! I think the biggest challenge for this week will be focusing on changing Habits and remaining focused on the requirements and assignments!! I am looking forward to the challenge but I am sure this week will be full of mistakes, and waining enthusiasm so maintaining that until the habits start to take hold will be interesting. I think if I focus on my why this is important to me as well as my Definite Major Purpose (when it is completed) it will help to keep me moving forward with a positive mental attitude!!

I am looking forward to the changes to come!!